Thursday, May 14, 2009

WORLD'S BEST PROCRASTINATOR

INTRODUCING THE WORLD'S BEST PROCRASTINATOR
*DRUM ROLLS*

ME!!!


Ok, if anyone wanna challenge this fact, obviously, u dunno me. AT ALL.
I have always known that I procrastinate. A LOT.
Bt i think this time, its gonna cost me. A LOT.

I mean, what the hell am I doing online, blogging, when I should be preparing for my next paper? Simply becos i wanna put off the preparation. I can really plan around the preparation. For eg. i binge and force myself to be hungry and to eat and then sleepy just so that I dun haf to look at more notes. How is that possbile? VERY. Coz we r talking about me here.

It's only in this past couple of weeks do I realise I handle and manage things differently from others. (or maybe not coz others mite just be pretending). How i cope with stress, pain, hurt, anger, sadness or lost etc, is to keep my mouth shut abt it and avoid it all together. In another words, I am an escapee.

For years I have this stupid amount of angin in my badan that refuses to get out and coz me so much discomfort and pain and I just found out last Sun that Ayah can do wonders. I told Mum (whom I know will be reading this- HI MUM!!!! LEAVE ME A COMMENT IN MY TAG!) how come nobody tries to help me when I am in so much pain due to gas? She said - well, u nvr tell us. I MEAN MUST I SCREAM AND MAKE A SCENE????! Apparently, YES.

Well, for years, I just shut my crap up and now I'm told to tell people. How am I suppose to do that? I am not whiny Diyana (read - attention seeker. I noe u r reading this too!). I mean... its natural for me to shut up. Its like everytime I take a roller coaster ride (which is less den 10 rides) i actually prefer to look at whats coming up next n I dun scream. 'Asy always tells me, "Kin! Njoy the ride, scream, let it go!" Bt I just can't open up my mouth and scream!

WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH ME???

Herni says "You HOLD BACK !" I think i was taught to hold back. or at least that was what I thought i was suppose to do. Hold back - dun let emotions show (n thus i dun understand y along has to cry and can cry all the time - i know u r reading this too!)

I've been doing everything wrong! I haf to start to let emotions show. Shit I wanna laugh just by the thought of it. HOW?????? I haf to stop HOLDING BACK and building this stupid wall.

Then maybe, things may come out right after all... hmmph... let's try that starting from....

NXT MTH! (I told u i m a procrastinator!)

now, i just hafta get back to my studies...



That is after my power nap...

and after i get ready to go visit Tok Ne...

and after playing with Ryan

and after Mimi's bdae celebration....




;p

Posted by DiStUrBeD AnGeL at 1:25 PM